11.26.07
14_Tis The Season
_We all know that the Christmas carol “The 12 Days of Christmas” is the worst Christmas carol ever, and probably one of the top ten worst songs ever written. It’s borring, repetetive and is bound to get stuck in your head for about seven weeks after hearing it. On top of that, it’s horribly outdated. When was the last time you saw a partridge or a maid a milking? And who needs all that milk anyway? What if your true love is lactose intolerant?
_That being said, I was fascinated to read this article about the cost of Christmas. Apparently PNC Wealth Management tracks the cost of the combined items every year. (Also remember that you have to buy your true love all the items every day, not just once.) The price of the maids a milking, for instance, is calculated with the current minimum wage.
_At first this seems rather like a very bad Christmas joke from some accountant. On second glance, this is a wonderful way to track some interesting economic trends, like the rising price of precious metals (the five golden rings), or the aforementioned raise in the minimum wage.
_I am always a fan of people thinking outside the box and using new ideas to do old jobs. If you know of anything else like this, feel free to send it to me so I can post it up. Also, make sure to check out the combined total of all the gifts from the carol and then, realizing the waste of money it is, join me in never singing that damn song ever again.
- Kid
11.21.07
13_Following Up Adding Up
_Since the link to Free Rice has gone up, I’ve been getting a lot of positive feedback. Lee Future put up a message on the original post that he got 8 right in a row and was asking for challengers. My friends in Philly, Brandi and Dave, apparently play the game all the time and rack up something like a thousand grains every time they play, which is awesome. My good friend Alyssa (who posted an amazing quote to my post Any Honest Song) has been bragging on various people’s facebook walls that she’s made it to vocabulary level 49, which sounds smart to me.
_So you have a hundred consecutive answers? You donated four tons of rice? Let me know: e-mail me your Free Rice success stories and I’ll post them here. It’s a good cause and a good way to learn new words. And you never know when you need a fancy vocabulary.
_Currently, the rate of grains-per-day seems to be expanding at a rather wonderful rate. The current total, according to Free Rice’s page is 2,840,667,010. I’m no mathematician but I’m guessing that that’s well past pounds and well into tonnage. So keep it up!
- Kid
11.19.07
12_Roller Derby: A Lot Of People Knew
_Apparently Roller Derby is a much bigger deal than I originally thought. In fact, my friend who skates for the Charm City Rollergirls told me that Roller Derby is the fastest growing women’s sport in America. I am totally in support of this.
_As research, I decided to randomly google a few major US cities and see if they had Roller Derby clubs. I googled Austin TX, Atlanta GA, and Cincinnati OH. I found these three sites:
-The Austin Roller Girls Webiste
-The Atlanta Roller Girls Website
and
- Lauren Bishop’s Cincinnati Roller Girls Blog, which had the adorable video of the Seattle based Tootsy Rollers, a tots league. It’s apparent to me that I could have googled basically any city or state and found some sort of Roller Derby activity. What I also found was this listing of all the major Roller Derby leagues in the United States and Canada.
_So, get out there and support your local fishnet-wearing, Jammer-bashing Roller Derby team.
- Kid
11_Incoming Signals: Exploring…York?
_I know, I’m shocked too. There’s things to see in York, Pennsylvania? Fascinating! But then again, there are things to see everywhere you go. And that’s what this week’s Incoming Signals is about.
_York Blog’s Explorer Blog is not only about traveling, but the things that matter to traveling, like ever increasing gas prices and cancelled flights. It’s not all holiday woe, though. Jen posts pictures of York county residents as they step foot outside into the real world and discover the wonders of things like food-not-cooked-in-lard. It’s a good read, will make you think about your travel plans and will make you laugh at the strange things people will put on signs.
- Kid
11.13.07
10_The Weight of Words
_A week ago my brother and I went to see Komplex (aka Mr. KeepOnMoving) host an open mic spoken word poetry night at the New Haven Lounge in Baltimore. Last week was the first in a four part series of open mic night events. Tonight they’re doing it again, and it’s probably going to rock as much as the first one did.
_It was a culture shock, though, going into that. It was awkward because I know nothing about spoken word poetry. I don’t really know what it’s about, how it’s done, what the typical subject matter is or if it’s even any good. I could imagine Hell being a really bad open mic night, so I was a little hesitant.
_Komplex is about as good of a host as you could ever want. Unlike what you would think a poet would normally be like (timid, geeky, strange, morose), Komplex has presence and character and energy. He started the show with some games for free drinks and then opened up the mic with one of his own poems. It was sexual, it was witty, and he delivered it with gusto. A damn good start.
_The following poets were along the same lines. Well written, memorized poems about falling in love and falling out of love, all with some very witty wordplay. There was social commentary, too. One girl wrote an awesome poem about how she was either considered too black to be smart or too white to be cool. Both those assumptions are wrong, because from what I could tell she was very smart and very awesome.
_Then the guy from Alabama got up. I really really feel bad that I don’t remember his name. I’m gonna snoop around on Komplex’s Myspace and see if I can find him. If you go tonight or to any of the other nights, ask Komplex who the guy from Alabama was and let me know.
_There are a lot of stereotypes about African American culture. One of them is the stereotype that they’re all crazy religious, Southern Baptist, “Praise tha Lawd!” types. Another is that they’re all drug dealing/taking murderers. Neither of these are true (they are stereotypes, of course), but sometimes it’s hard to see any sort of honesty in their religious views when, in movies or music or whatever, these two stereotypes coexist. How can you really believe the faith of someone who, on the next track, raps about killing people? Sometimes it’s hard to get your head around.
_This guy from Alabama made it easier. His poetry was so fiery, so passionate and so honest, that it was really easy to see where all the stereotypical religious beliefs start. Listening to him read, I could understand the honesty underneath it all, that little white speck of light in the dark that’s real and comforting, no matter how small it is. Of course, anytime you ever see true faith, it’s easy for it to get taken out of context, turned from that little white speck into a blinding light that’s as oppressive as the forces it’s trying to undo, and this is true of any religion.
_But no matter how stereotypical a religion might be, it’s important to remember that underneath it all, at the beginning of it all, was some guy who got one step closer to God and wanted to tell someone else about it. Religions might grow to be massive, but at their hearts they are always as small as one guy reading at an open mic night, and one guy listening to every word he says.
- Kid
11.06.07
09_Any Honest Song
_Christianity today is a bit of a muddle. The mainstream is plagued by Evangelicals who, quite frankly, take the God out of religion and replace it with profit and sensationalism. Catholics are plagued by their hierarchy and don’t have much say in their own religion, seeing as how they are not the Pope. There is a lot of debate in the Christian community these days about what it really means to be Christian and follow in Jesus’ footsteps.
_That being said, the boys of Switchfoot are doing a good job of leading by example. Phil at Switchfeed has lately been reporting that Switchfoot has started a new record label, Lowercase People Records, so that they can more easily use their music (and its subsequent profits) to help organisations like Habitat For Humanity.
_So, next time your friends tell you that Switchfoot sold out with The Beautiful Letdown, remind them about this and how they’re really selling in, by using their profits for a good cause. And if you and your friends then decide to start a band, keep this in mind and remember that you definitely can make a difference.
- Kid
08_Incoming Signals: No Media Kings
_I can’t take credit for finding this. Lee Future over at Literature Is Not Dead linked me to it.
_No Media Kings is an incredible resource for Indie publishing, movie making, whatever. Jim used to be at Harper Collins but seems to have realized that selling your soul to the devil is not fun. He also seems to have realized that there is no type of media he doesn’t like, as he has done movies, books, comic books, everything. It’s a great site and a good way to spend a lot of time avoiding something less cool, like, your job.
- Kid
11.03.07
07_Black and White
_Last night, Friday the 2nd, Thursday played The Otto Bar. I showed up two hours early and met Geoff Rickley outside the bus. I gave him a flier to this site and I hope he reads it. I think he’ll like what I have to say.
_The concert itself was the best show I’ve ever been to. The opening bands were surprisingly good, especially Problems, which Geoff said was something of a last minute add on. They’re the sort of band I think Vice Magazine would love, with short, alternative but really good songs. They were smart enough to use their bass as a lead since they only had one guitar.
_I’d heard good things about Circle Takes The Square and they lived up to it all. They remind me a lot of “Define the Great Line” style Underoath, with long, epic and technical hardcore type songs. Definitely worth checking out if you don’t mind six or eight minute songs.
_The only band not worth linking to was Portugal The Man who had one good song, jammed songs way too long, and spent most of their set with their backs to the audience.
_When Thursday took the stage, the energy was unreal. Everyone knew the words, everyone was reaching for Geoff. Some people, thanks to the lack of a barrier, managed to get up on stage and have their moment of stage-diving ecstasy. I was there with a friend and didn’t want to abandon her, or I would have done my own stage dive to Jet Black New Year.
_Surrounded by hundreds of people who are there to see the same band and sing the same songs as you, it’s amazing how comfortable you can be in a pitch-black room surrounded by however many people you don’t know. It also amazes me how easy it is to make friends at concerts like that.
_Of course, it doesn’t seem so strange when you realize that everyone in that room had one thing in common: the love of Thursday’s music. Black, white, male, female, whatever, everyone there had one thing in common and they used it as a spring board to launch themselves into the great ocean of conversation.
_Things couldn’t have been more opposite tonight at work. There I am, standing in the middle of a stark white, well lit, wide open room folding rows and rows of t-shirts while annoying cheerleaders and fat black women shop around me. It could not have been more apparent to me that the shoppers and I had nothing in common.
_That is no sin, of course, but it made me think how many people in bright, safe rooms like that, must have found themselves thinking evil things because they simply having nothing in common with the other person. With that in mind it doesn’t seem so strange to me that things like racism or homophobia can take place. What strange, terrible things a person could think when they realize they have nothing in common with someone else.
_I sometimes feel bad for bands because the only chance they get to speak to us is the ten seconds or so between their songs. Other than that they have to rely on the message their music carries, and those can be misunderstood or overheard altogether. Similarly, it’s hard to find common ground with someone when the only things you ever say to them are store promos and coupon deals.
_Sometimes it helps to remember how incredibly brief our interactions with others are. It helps to remember to say as much as possible about who you are and what you stand for. It helps to remember that the surface image can be misleading, that you can feel completely comfortable in a dark room full of strangers, and totally out of place in an empty white room where there is nowhere to hide.
- Kid
06_Start Program: TxtFile.exe
_This is TxtFile. This is where written words become something more when transfered to the eyes of readers.
_To start, RazorOutlaw at Infoceptor sent this in. It might seem off the wall at first, but if you’ve ever worked in retail, you’d realize how close some people seem to being like this.
Untitled
“Hello, this is Office Supplies,” Tory said. Not again! He really didn’t have time to be putting up with customer’s bullshit again. Why didn’t they just come down to the store?
“Yes…” an old man’s voice began. “I’m wondering if you have a Cross brand pen and pencil set.”
“I’m not certain sir, but if you give me a moment I can go check.”
“Alright,” the old man replied, adding a disatisfied grunt at the end.
Impatient jerks, Tory thought, they’re even worse when they’re old.
Like he had done a million times, Tory walked over the pen section. Everyday he got calls from customers who wanted something specific and in the few years that he had worked retail he had a pretty good knowledge of what the store carried. A quick perusal of the section showed, as he expected, that Cross didn’t have an over priced pen and pencil set. They just had over priced pens that he figured only rich assholes would buy.
Somewhat happily he walked back to the phone and picked up.
“Hello sir? Sorry, we don’t have a pen and pencil set in the store.”
“Alright. That’s too bad because I have a friend who could really use one. Are you people going out of business or something?” the old man said.
“No we aren’t sir,” Tory replied patiently.
“Well you don’t have what I want! Nevermind, I’ll go somewhere else.”
There was a soft click as the old man hung up the phone.
Tory hung up the phone too, a look of disgust on his face. At that moment his friend Jeff rounded the corner.
“Bad customer?” Jeff asked.
“Yes, it was one of those old people who think that just because we don’t carry an item they want that we must be going out of business.”
“One of those types,” Jeff said,” what item were they looking for?”
“Oh a Cross pen and pencil set.”
“Sucks for them. I can’t say we’ve ever had that item.”
Jeff suddenly disappeared back behind the corner as a customer came by. As usual he was quick to try and make a sale.
Tory went back to work, but out of curiosity he went back to the pen section just to make sure. Sitting on the shelf was a clear plastic box holding two gold writing utensils. The tag underneath was marked “P/P set”. Pen and pencil. Damn all this time in the store, all the times he had looked over this section and not once had he seen that set. He snickered, he was glad that old bastard didn’t get what he wanted. Even if the old douche got angry it’s not like this was a matter of life and death anyway.
* * * *
Maurie set the phone down onto the hook, and the speaker phone clicked off.
“Well, you heard that, didn’t you?” he said slowly. “They don’t have it.”
His wife sat at the table, nervously tapping her fingers on its dark veneer. She nodded.
“Y-yes,” she said,” it appears that they don’t have the set.”
Her eyes flicked over towards the door. She jumped in her seat a little as Maurie chuckled. His palm shot up into the air.
“Now hold on a minute!” he roared. An evil looking smile spread across his lips. “We made a deal and you know what it is.”
His wife’s eyes went wide.
“You can’t really be serious!”
“Yes, I am.” Maurie said coldly. His face suddenly twisted into one of disgust and rage. “YOU TOLD ME THEY WOULD HAVE IT!”
“Maurie no!”
With a fluid motion he reached behind himself and pulled the concealed .45 magnum from its holster. Before she even had time to scream her blood and bone splattered against the far wall.
-Kid
